We are six months into this parents x 3 gig. The last couple months have been full of lots of changes. Harper and Sam are on the move and Benj is turning into a big(ger) boy right before our eyes. Sometimes I think about how different things are today compared to just one short year ago. Last year at this time Chris, Jim, Carol and I were in the full throes of tiling our bathroom. It was a learning curve for all of us, but a time I remember vividly. All four of us (well, six if you count the two little ones that were busy growing in my belly...seven if you count four year old Ben who often participated fully in our remodeling project) were in what is now our master bathroom working together (somewhat furiously) to complete the attic remodel so we would have a space of our own (and more importantly move out of the space our two little ones would soon occupy). Now, one year later, we use that space every single night bathing our three little beetles. While we were sorting out how to use a wet saw and buttering subway tile it was hard to picture what life would be like in a year and now here we are...a family of five, sorting out how to raise our growing family.
A year ago today, there were a lot of things I didn't realize...
-Like how going to a grocery store would mean I'd be stopped several times and asked if the babies were twins and how many kind eyes would reach mine followed by "you are so blessed". And how my heart would swell when I would say "yes, yes I am."
-Or on the other hand, how going to the grocery store would involve speeding through the aisles with one or two crying babies and meeting a sympathetic mom with her own fussing babes and having her greet me with "Twins? I don't know how you do it," which most days I respond honestly by saying "you know what, me neither!"
-I didn't realize how close having twins would bring Chris and I. There is nothing like realizing it's just the two of us in the middle of the night waking up a time or two (or five or six) to strengthen a marital partnership.
-A year ago today I had no idea (I mean really no clue!) how much laundry two refluxy spitty infants could make in one day. Or how we would come to simply pulling clean, unfolded clothes out of the laundry basket because getting them folded and put away was pretty low on the priority list of getting through the day.
-I pictured Ben's relationship with his siblings but I never could have fully grasped the emotion that would wash over me when I watch him run past his sister just to get her to laugh and squeal with delight. I also couldn't have dreamed how it would make me feel when I watch my two sons lay side my side on the living room rug, Sam cooing at Ben, Ben telling Sam how much he loves his little brother.
-I didn't know I would become so crazy about schedules. Or maybe more importantly how other people would come to think of me as someone who is crazy about scheduling. But I sure know now that at the end of the day what works for the little people living under my roof is all that matters.
-I remember eating in shifts when Ben was a newborn...but I couldn't comprehend what being outnumbered really feels like at the dinner hour, especially with two young babies. Or how dinner now (even if it's just spaghetti and frozen peas) requires the coordination of a five course meal.
-A year ago I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I sure didn't realize how quickly I would be able to soothe my babies in a way no one else can (or how many bottles and cans of formula we would end up saving because of it).
-Diapers, ah diapers. Yep, there is absolutely no way to prepare yourself for how many diapers you will change (or buy) when you are expecting twins.
Above all, a year ago today, I had no idea the love I would feel for my husband and my children. Of course there are days when it seems like chaos is the name of the game, but when it all comes down to it, that chaotic life, the one filled with little people and schedules and dirty diapers is the only one I want.
